


On The Use of Crotch-Mounted Firearms In Film

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Big Hero 6
Genre: M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A physicist and an English major sit on a couch and discuss crotch-mounted firearms and the movie "Pistols and Poodle Skirts."</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Use of Crotch-Mounted Firearms In Film

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Did It Get Hot In Here?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2758064) by [TheMockingDahila](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingDahila/pseuds/TheMockingDahila). 



> Though it's never mentioned in the movie, Fred is an English major at a different college.

“It’s actually a pretty solid way to show off that Mayor Woolhearth is an extremely violent, shameless, and chauvinistic character obsessed with power, control, and reassurance of his own masculinity, though very obvious, attention-grabbing displays such as this.” Fred explained, before he drank some more of his soda. “Also, a crotch-gun is pretty damn funny.”

“Huh.” Wasabi said, leaning forward from the couch, “Did they use an actual gun for this prop?”

“Nah, it’s a fake: modeled after the Smith and Wesson .45 Colt, also affectionately referred to as a ‘hand cannon.’” The geek unpaused the movie as he dug in for another handful of popcorn, “Though, the three cylinder loading mechanism was obviously made by the prop department specifically for this movie.”

“Right,” The physicist nodded, “Probably wouldn’t do for actual gun manufacturers to let their customers know they’re obviously compensating for something.”

“You’d be surprised!” Fred said through a mouthful of popcorn. He chewed through and swallowed the rest before he continued, “The firearms industry counts on enthusiasts more than it does actual law enforcement; ever since the reforms forbidding lethal force for most situations, the manufacturers have started appealing to either a: power fantasies, b: paranoia, or c: Adult Barbie Doll Collectors.”

Wasabi blinked. “Say what now?”

“Accessories. Real guns have them. And quite a lot, too!” The geek drank some more soda, “The sheer amount is staggering. Then again, most of those gun buyers rarely ever fire those things, so I guess it’s relatively harmless in the end.”

Wasabi turned back to the screen. Mayor Woolhearth was now casually unloading several rounds into the unruly members of the bar, a bullet for each hip thrust. “Did you really write an analysis paper on this?”

“Yep!” Fred replied, pausing to laugh at the scene, “I actually got an A+ for the depth and solidity of my claims and arguments, though my professor warned me that if I ever tried to use a B movie like _Pistols and Poodle Skirts_ ever again, she’d fail me on the basis of, quote, ‘sparing my brain cells a slow, prolonged series of suicides over the course of two hours or less.’”

Wasabi laughed. “You’re making that up.”

Fred grinned. “Kid you not.”

Wasabi shook his head, then gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Surprises are one of the best tropes in fiction, ‘Sabi!” The geek replied, “If used properly like in this scene, you can give characters unexpected dimension and depth, like Woolhearth is actually a perfect gentleman to women like Vicky Violet, even if he still does consider females the inferior gender. Or, like how I use it, it keeps a relationship exciting!”


End file.
